Merry Christmas from the Read Zone!

By: Brian Mangan

And on this day, when we reflect, spend time with loved ones, and give thanks, let us never forget that this monstrosity occurred:

(Click video to play on MLB.com)

As a little bit of a singer myself, I feel qualified to give little critiques of each performance.

Matt Harvey: Sounds like he’s holding back, might be able to actually sing.

Travis D’Arnaud: Serial killer, 100%… yes I realize this is not a musical judgment, but people need to know this.  Also, I am fairly certain that after relief pitcher, the best position for a lunatic is catcher, so at least D’Arnaud is leveraging his skills properly.

Justin Turner: It doesn’t matter how hard you try here, it’s not going to justify your place on the roster … but with that said, I love you.

Lucas Duda: It’s clear someone had a gun on you while this was filmed … or perhaps that what’s Turner is there for?

Dillon Gee: Wrong Key-Gee, but hey, at least his intervals are mostly right! Best singer of the video by a decent margin.  That’s just so Gee, isn’t it?  Exceeds his tools.

Jon Niese: No. I like you, you try… but no.

David Wright: I had to watch this multiple times to believe my eyes, but David Wright actually does a cup-check (adjusts himself) at :44 of the video. Right before he says “fairy land.” And honestly, could you imagine any of the other Mets being saddled with that phrase? Nope, only our corny Captain. He performed admirably — making sure his balls were still there before he uttered the phrase “fairy land.”

Zack Wheeler: He doesn’t technically sing, buy for crying out loud it looks like he has a hard time just reading the prompter. I know these guys are professional athletes and Wheeler in particular is from Georgia but … guys … you’ve got to give them some larnin’ in the minors, don’t you?